It’s the lunch-themed blog that’s taken #_k_team_chi by storm. With its incisive satiric wit, unwavering commitment to journalistic integrity, and stock photos of Disney characters, Team Lunch has proven to the entire media landscape that it is here to stay. But just how do they do it? We sat down with TL’s creator and Editor-in-Chief, Joe Duran, to see just how the special lunch sauce gets made.

Q: I am blown away by the greatness of your blog. Just how do you do it?

A: I am a very good writer. I know a lot of writing things such as the fact that the acrostic poem is the best kind of poem because you know how long it’s going to be. I also know that being the best is better than not being good at all. I don’t think anyone else could have done it.

Q: When you read other blogs, how do you keep yourself from hacking into their databases and deleting all their content because of how inferior it is to yours?

A: This is very difficult for me. To resist that urge I mean. Sometimes I read a blog that is so bad I want to cry but then I remember that my tears are a valuable and non-renewable source of energy so instead I just laugh and say “dumb blog dummy!”. And sometimes I’ll comment to that effect.

Q: Tell us about your most recent post- the hiring post. Give us a little bit of insight into your process there.

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A: Well that one was very difficult because I didn’t remember what year it was when Conan O’Brien lost his television show to Jay Leno or really exactly what had happened- just that something had happened to him and he went on his dumb tour. It was difficult because I had to Google his name and then copy and paste the name of the conflict into the blog post. Usually I write Team Lunch without very much forethought and I don’t do any research.

Q: How do you feel when other people post on Team Lunch without asking you or update the posts with their own jokes? 

A: I get so angry and sad and feel so hopeless when this happens that I want to just walk right into the ocean and never turn back. But thank god there is no ocean in Chicago.

Q: What are some of your influences?

A: The sound your cell phone makes when you lock it, that new car smell, LaCroix Pamplemoose, and Weird Al Yankovic’s lesser-known, totally-sincere material.

Q: How you weigh bro?

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To me, nothing is more important than one’s health. This is why we started Team Lunch, honestly. I mean, I’ve never really admitted this in an interview before, but that was the whole motivation behind the blog in the first place.

See, my dad never ate lunch. And then he up and died. Of hunger. Because he refused to eat lunch. And it set me on this trajectory to become an artist. And it’s hard for me because on one hand I was really angry at him, you know, like, just eat lunch dude. But on the other hand I have to thank him because it made me who I am. I am a software engineer who sometimes will spend five minutes after lunch on a silly blog post and annoy my coworkers with it in Slack.

Q. That’s so freaking heavy dude.

A: I know.

Q: Any advice to the kids out there? Who want to take their shot at blog stardom?

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A: Well Stephen King (he wrote the stupid Shining) wrote a little idiot book called On Writing, and in it he says that you should, I don’t know, like, write for four hours a day in your basement and do three drafts of everything and all this other garbage. It’s bad advice. I advise you to skip that book.

Q: What can we expect from Team Lunch in the future? Any new ideas out there on the horizon? 

A: Well as a thought leader in digital media we are very excited about the trend toward no one paying for anything anymore. It makes it easier for us to do our jobs when we know that increasingly the payoff will be smaller and smaller. I think the future of the media looks a little something like this: There are three hundred and sixty thousand blogs, and each blog has three hundred and sixty thousand followers. Everyone can only follow one blog, and it is their favorite blog. If you write a blog, you get to follow two blogs. You can also play a wild card starting on the third turn and then hotels are free to build on properties you already own.

Q: Answer?

A: Daily Double.